January Roundup: 2009 will be a Better Year

Well it has been a month since I started this blog - I guess time flies when you're having fun. From now on, I will be posting the top five entries at the end of each month and changing the tagline below the heading. Enjoy! Please continue to visit and tell your friends about this blog.

Thanks,
Andre

Top 5 Entries of January

Tertiary Series: I want to be like Mommy!

The Starbucks Taste Test Challenge

The Declining Economy Conspiracy

Two Magic Words to Get Rid of Your Debts

Ask the Reader: What the hell was that?

Country Style Win (crap) Everytime Promotion

I was going for an afternoon coffee break and decided to go to the Country Style just across the street. I ordered the usual medium with two milk when a chick cut in front of me and asked the cashier, "what's this promotion you're doing?" The cashier responded, "it's our Tim Horton's roll-up-the-rim..well I shouldn't say that.." Another girl working at the sandwich bar jumped in, "It's our turn up a winner event. Every cup's a winner!" I was excited at prospect of winning every time, but I also knew that the prizes could not be very good. Well I was wrong..

If you can't read it, that says "Free Brookside Almond Sample"

the prizes were downright crap. After downing my coffee, I "rolled up the rim" and found a FREE almond sample! Look, you can't have a prize with the words "free" and "sample"! I told a co-worker about it and she told me that she won the same thing. So I asked her what the prize looked like, and she replied "It's a sample. It only had four nuts and I couldn't even taste it, though I'm sure it was very good."

Other prizes include:
1 of 200 Prizes from Hamilton Beach
1 of 5 $1000 Gift Cards & discounts from Mark's Work Wearhouse
1 of 50 luggage sets from Samboro
1 of 25 Ultra Chef Grills from Napoleon Fireplaces & Girlls

The only thing worth mentioning is the 1 of 10 trips for four to Orlando. (It's probably Orlando, Ontario.)

Click here for more details on the contest.

Editor's Note: There is no Orlando, Ontario.

Flaherty Needs Credit Counselling

A girl goes to the bank to borrow money and said she absolutely needs it because her family is going through a rough time. Her dad was recently laid off by the car company that employed him for the past twenty years. She claimed that she only needs the money for a couple of years because she will get a higher paying job after upgrading her degree.

The bank approved her because she had pretty good credit in the past and seemed to be able to manage money. She thanked the loan officer, left the bank, and went shopping for a new pair of shoes.

Photo by: Blair Gable / Reuters

Article of Interest: "Ottawa needs to stimulate economy: Flaherty"

"Flaherty spent $141.09 -- with tax -- to buy a pair of black work shoes, a sign perhaps that his budget will help put Canadians to work."

All I have to say is, those shoes better not be in the budget.

Signaling at a Right Turn Only Lane

I was coming out of the gas station one time and saw a right turn only sign. There was a median in the middle of the road to prevent cars from turning left, so I turned right and without signaling. My dad asked me why I didn't signal and I replied "Because I don't have to! What else was I going to do? Turn left?"

Now, it's never a smart idea to talk back to your traditional Asian parents, but I did anyway. I still stand by it today because it makes no sense. It's stupid to signal at a right-turn only lane when we only have two signals. No one would signal left unless they were doing something illegal and I didn't need to signal right because I was going to do it anyways. So next time you see a right turn only sign, remember to not signal.



Editor's Note: You have to signal right if there is an option to go straight. Use your own judgment when pulling off this stunt. Side effects include nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach and diarrhea. You may also get a ticket. The author bears not liable for the consequences of your action. Exercise caution when attempting to be a smartass.

Recipes from Kraft Canada

Here's a recipe courtesy of our friends over at Kraft Canada.

RITZ Crackers & Cheddar Cheese Bites

Prep Time: 5 mins
Total Time: 5 mins
Makes: 1

Ingredients
2 RITZ Crackers
2 slices Cracker Barrel Cracker Cuts Old Cheddar Cheese

Directions
Top crackers with cheese.

Link: http://www.kraftcanada.com/en/recipes/ritz-crackers-cheddar-cheese-112452.aspx?e=email

Editor's Note: This site was forwarded to me by baby.

Men can have babies too!

Well, not exactly. But men can have kidney stones and if left undetected, you can turn out to be pregnant!

"It's not kidney stone, doc tells N.L. woman moments before she gives birth"

"The eastern Newfoundland woman says she didn't realize she was pregnant until she was rushed to Carbonear General Hospital that night and an X-ray didn't turn up any kidney stones."

How do you not know that you're pregnant for nine months? What happened to all that crap about the connection between a mother and her child? To be fair, the article said that she did not experience any of the usual symptoms such as morning sickness. Well, lucky you.

Bottom Line:

1. If it feels like you have the stones, get it checked out..you might be pregnant. (of course that goes for men and women)
2. The miracle of birth is like having kidney stones.
   
3. Finally, the pain of labor, also like passing kidney stones.
   

Tertiary Series: I want to be like Mommy!

Editor's Note: If you are working full time like me, you will sometimes receive the odd fwd from your co-workers. This one is especially good, so I thought I would share it with you.

After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This drawing is of me.... selling a shovel.

Mrs. Harrington

A Tribute to George Walker

I remember coming home one September afternoon to planes smashing into the World Trade Center. History will judge George Bush on his tenure as President of the United States. As Bush said in an interview, he will probably not live long enough to see the verdict. Regardless, one must admit that his time in the office wasn't a stroll in the park and he gave us some memorable moments. These include bombs falling on Baghdad, the toppling of the Saddam Hussein's statue, the complete abandonment of a city devastated by one of the country's worst hurricane and one of the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression. Still, we should thank him for demonstrating the importance of politics. For those who were interested in politics before Bush, we should thank him for keeping us entertained. So, as a tribute to Bush, I will highlight some his most memorable quotes:

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." - September 2000

"They misunderestimated the compassion of our country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the commander-in-chief, too." - Sept. 26, 2001

"There's no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail." - Oct. 4, 2001

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - Aug. 5, 2004

"The fact that they purchased the machine meant somebody had to make the machine. And when somebody makes a machine, it means there's jobs at the machine-making place." - May 27, 2008

"I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office." - June 26, 2008

"Throughout our history, the words of the Declaration have inspired immigrants from around the world to set sail to our shores. These immigrants have helped transform 13 small colonies into a great and growing nation of more than 300 people." - July 4, 2008

Quotes taken from "Bushisms: U.S. leader sets standard for mangled phrases during presidency"

God bless him; if it wasn't for you George Walker, I would have taken up another major.
But today is the dawn of a new era. On this day, the US installed its 44th President. What's so great about Obama anyways? What was so captivating? Why was it a defining moment in US history? What was it that made the world stand still at noon, even if only for a couple of minutes? I really didn't know the answer until I watched this:



Oh now I remember, he's the first President to share the same name as the dictator of the country you just toppled. Wow, that's a strong message. Way to rub it in.

Ted Rogers Rips Us Off From the Grave

Article of interest: Rogers hiking basic cable rates 5.2%

Ted Rogers continues to rip us off from the grave as he raises basic cable fees by 5.2%.

"Despite the weakening economy, all of Rogers’ 2.3 million basic cable customers will see the price of their basic Cable rise from $28.49 a month to $29.999 per month, an increase of 5.2%.

I mean it's basic cable; the reason why people have basic is because they can't afford (or prefers to save) the cash. It's no wonder why people download TV illegally. If there was more competition in Canada, then they wouldn't be so damn arrogant. I personally don't see the point in saving Canadian companies just because they're "Canadian". After all, money is more of a universal language than English. If you can't keep up, then beat it. It's not like Ted Rogers would rush to the aid of Canadian culture since he was the one who renamed the Skydome, "Rogers Centre" (At least he spelled it Canadian/British).

Tertiary Series: How to Get Satisfaction from Tech Support

Read this article, Are You Getting Satisfaction From GetSatisfaction.com, from the Web Worker Daily on how to get great tech support.

Editor's Note: I am currently on vacation right now, this article was written automatically by the computer

Adolf Hitler is Alive?!?

Editor's Note: I know I said that there would be no posts until next week because I was busy but I felt absolutely compelled to comment on this...enjoy!

I don't know if you have seen this Robot Chicken video called Lil' Hitler...if you haven't, here it is:



So, what did you think? Pretty funny huh? Well not to the real Lil' Hitler - Cops Take Away 3-Year Old Adolf Hitler. Apparently, a couple in New Jersey named their son "Adolf Hitler Campbell"(I hope you feel bad now for laughing at that video, jerks).

"On Friday, officials from the New Jersey Division of Youth and Family Services took into protective custody Adolf Hitler Campbell, 3, and his younger sisters JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, 1, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, 8 months, according to the Holland Township Police Department."

Talk about your prototypical "redneck" family. They makes King of the Hill look like Queer Eye and I'm not even saying this just to insult anyone. I will highlight some points to prove my point;

"...the kids were confined to certain areas in the house,"
"Those children look outwardly healthy, but they didn't have much freedom,"
"the couple was unemployed and received government assistance to pay their rent.

You see why I had to post this even though I was on holiday,

This is just too easy.

Review: Beyonce - I am Sasha Fierce

I am reviewing I am Sasha Fierce, Beyonce's third solo album since ditching...shoot I forgot their band name already...anyways, no matter. Firstly, you are NOT Sasha Fierce. You are Beyonce Knowles-Z. Finally, you're not just a boy, hell you're not even single. I'm so sick of radio stations that prop up singles by overplaying it.

Summary: This CD sucks. I give it a two out of a possible two (middle) fingers up.

Editor's Note: I will be busy over the next few days and will probably not be posting, but you'll be spammed if there is a new post. Have a great weekend!

The Starbucks Taste Test Challenge

Do you know why I started drinking Starbucks?

Just Kidding.

I'll admit, Starbucks is turning into some sort of culture or brand. It represents a certain economic class or social status. (disregard the above picture of course, the drink = classy, the gut = not) There is also no doubt that Starbucks costs a lot more. What I disagree with is the argument that Tim Hortons' coffee tastes better.

Sure Tim Hortons is Canadian and there is no doubt that it's a "household name". Some might say that it put Asian hockey on the map...



But I challenge you to a quick taste test. Do the following:

1. Go to Tim Hortons, order a medium regular (one milk, one sugar). Absolutely NO double-doubles! this is not a test to see who can mask their coffee the best.

2. Go to Starbucks, order a tall coffee, also regular. (Trust me, a small at Starbucks is at least a medium in Tim's)

3. Take a sip of the Tim's (then spit it out). Then take a sip of the Starbucks coffee (and just savour the goodness).

Administrative Update: Launching of the New Tertiary Series

There will be an update on the website...

Anything I find interesting from someone else's blog will now belong in a new section, Tertiary Series. This series came to fruition when I realized that many blogs basically recycled the same stories (including this blog). Hopefully, this will be more effective at crediting other people's secondary work.



Editor's Notes: Today is the one-year anniversary of the day that changed my life. May you live happily and healthily ever after, 1433.

Is my Degree Worthless? (Part II)

This is the second of a two-part series on your education and money.

Article of interest: Is your degree worth $1 million -- or worthless?

"Some degrees are a step back. Thinking of a master's degree in a liberal arts or social sciences field? Let's hope you're in it for the love of learning, because on average there doesn't seem to be any financial payoff."

Thanks for the heads up. I really wish someone had told me sooner (I apologize to my friends who are still doing their MA, keep fighting the good fight). I mean, I'm all for learning, but a man's gotta eat (well) and live (in a huge ass house).

For those of you who are still planning your life though, you have been warned.

Royal Visit to Canada

In a move that will sure please his fans, Barack Hussein Obama chooses Canada as his first international get-a-way destination (Barack Obama to visit Canada after inauguration).

"This has got to please the government and please Canadians, in general," says Robert Fife, Bureau Chief of Canada's equivalent of Fox.

I personally welcome his visit because we haven't had royalty since 2005, when the Queen Mother visited Alberta with Prince Philip. I just thought he'd pick somewhere warmer...maybe he's coming in the summer. (I wouldn't get my hopes up Nunavut)

The Declining Economy Conspiracy

Sure, the stock market is falling like crazy and GM may go bankrupt, but I have never been more convinced that the average Canadian family is okay (despite "economic data" that prove otherwise). As usual, I think a picture is worth a thousand words...

I took this picture the day after boxing day at a Tommy Hilfiger in a not-so-affluent part of Toronto. I found one size large shirt - needless to say that it wasn't the best looking one either.

But for those of you who believe in something more astronomical...

In case you can't read it, the fortune reads, "The stock market may be your ticket to success."

I rest my case. The economy is fine - so go out, spend and be merry.

University, a Financial Choice (Part I)

I know quite a few people who are applying for university this year. Let me begin with a piece of friendly advice, choose a financially sensible location. If you're unconvinced, just spend two minutes playing around with the OSAP Repayment Calculator and enter the following

Estimated total expected debt on graduation: $30,000 (7500 x 4) (I know that seems a lot right now, but it should be that much in four years)

Click "Calculate Monthly Payment" and voila. Assuming your prime interest rate is 6% (fat chance), you will be paying $393 per month after graduation FOR NINE AND A HALF YEARS.

Trust me, that's a lot of coin. Let me show you what 400 bucks a month for 9.5 years can buy you...


That's right - it's like buying the A3 you never drove. Did I mention that it's fully paid and loaded?

Note 1: Part II to come...

Two Magic Words to Get Rid of Your Debts

If you know me, I sometimes stay up late and watch TV infomercials while surfing on the web. (Talk about multitasking in the 21st...) There have been many greats such as The Magic Bullet, which is a personal favourite of mine. But this one really got to me...



You can find out the technique to eliminate your debt here:
Debt Cures Book Review - Is Kevin Trudeau's Latest Book A Scam?

Anyways, Trudeau was saying that there are two words that can help you clear out your credit card debt. You probably know which two words I was thinking of at first, but I looked it up out of curiosity and found out that the two words were identity theft.

I don't need to tell you that lying to your credit card company is fraud and you can't cure your debt by going to jail. If you're going to lie to your credit card company, you might as well call them up and say the two words I was thinking of ... At least you will have the satisfaction of releasing your anger in an explicit yet legal manner.

That being said, I feel bad for the poor suckers who bought his book (please do not buy this book).

Chick Fight on Ice

Check out this fight between Alexander Semin and Marc Staal...I'm not sure if Don Cherry would approve of this...Notice Semin's European b!tchslapping technique, very trendy in the fashion capitals of Paris and Milan. (Courtesy of frostynuts)

Tertiary Series - Cracked.com: 9 Most Badass Bible Verses

Who says the bible is boring? (Courtesy of Crispy)

Cracked.com: 9 Most Badass Bible Verses

Ask the reader: What the hell is that?

What the hell is that on my pork chop rice?

Five Year Old Needs Life...

I've been trying to beat this game, Taiko no Tatsujin on DS, for the past week with a q-tip for a stylus and a real stylus (only played on and off). I am on the medium level of difficulty (second of three levels) and I get 90%+. I'm pretty proud of myself since I'm not that good with video games. I wanted to see if people posted videos of this game...now I expect some people who will do ridiculously well - but...well, just watch this yourself.



Even if the kid doesn't get perfect, which is virtually impossible with only two hands, at least the drum beats sounded right. It friggin' puts me to shame...this kid is FIVE for !@#$'s sake. FIVE! If I wasn't busy working full time...