Try out the new Google Pervert

I didn't know Google was into the peeping-tom business until I read this:

Google camera trolling streets of Canadian Cities

"Strange-looking vans and cars are prowling the streets of 11 major Canadian cities and taking pictures of homes, lane ways, yards and people as part of the controversial "Street View" feature offered by Google Inc.

The feature allows someone using Google Maps or Google Earth to click on a street or a building and see a picture of the area. The service's ability to allow onlookers to swivel 360 degrees even gives Internet voyeurs the ability to take a virtual stroll of neighbourhoods."

A person being interviewed on the radio even said that this feature is not necessary but interesting because it allows you to see your own street, which he claimed is "pretty cool".

Here's what you should do if you want to see your own street live in 3D, HD, and whatever other (expletive) D you can think of..

1. Go to front door
2. Open door
3. Walk outside
4. Explore using the two cameras between both your nose and adjust your head for a better viewing angle.

Bye Bye Depression..

Scientists have discovered a way to help you forget traumatic experiences..

"To help people with these kinds of post-traumatic stress disorders ..... you might just want to minimize the emotional association between the memory and the highly disruptive and negative emotions that people have in this context."

He says the research may well conjure "Orwellian" notions of mind manipulation and thought control.

"But that's not really the goal of this. The idea would be (to use it) in a therapeutic way," Salter says, referring in particular to post-traumatic stress prevention.) (Article: Erasing traumatic memory possible, researchers say)

See, this is why I worry about scientists and their "advancements". Look, it's not the goal that people worry about, it's the effects of your crazy (expletive) experiments. In this case, the "Orwellian" notion of mind manipulation and thought control (which by the way, means the same thing) is the consequence that worries people. See, you gotta come out of your labs sometimes and just check out the world. It's a different place now, there is a black President.

Editor's Note: This goes for you meteorologists too. Don't say it's going to be sunny when everyone is holding an umbrella.

Baseball cap shopping, Recession edition

I need to buy a new cap because my old one is worn out. If you didn't know already, I try to push my clothing to the limit and don't necessarily replace them unless it's deemed hazard to public health.

I shopped around and found this...


It's a retro Toronto Blue Jays baseball cap from their glory days back in 90s. I figure, if I am going to buy a cap, I might as well buy a baseball cap. Anyway, when I saw it, I knew I had to have it - so I made it a priority to check it out the next time I went to the mall. Let's fast forward a little bit..

I held the cap in my hand and turned it over, the price tag read, $35.99. In the famous words of my boss: W-T-F? Since when are baseball caps 40 bucks?! I mean, this fabric that wraps around your head?!?!

Whatever, I'm more mad that no one told me the recession is over.

Editor's Note: See this cap @ http://www.lids.com/pid/20109500
Editor's Note2: Wait until you see my article on the Dell Adamo.

Recession Shopping: A Recession Sized Meal

I don't know how much this costs, but damn.. this is 1220 calories worth of Mexican goodness. (Source: http://www.thedailyplate.com/nutrition-calories/food/taco-bell/big-bell-box-meal-version-2)

I must try this out.. will give a review if I live to tell about it... If you've tried it, and would like to write a review, you know my email. If not, just ask me through email.

Exam-ing Urgency

Spring always reminds me one thing: exams. You must be hating me right now if you're in school, but trust me, I'm going somewhere with this for your benefit. I still remember spending countless nights cramming for a semester's worth of material. Don't worry though, I'm going to try and change your mindset.

I knew this guy who drove from Mississauga to Coburg (140 km) on a full bladder. When he finally got to the washroom, well you can imagine.. The process of cramming for and writing an exam is like going to the washroom after holding your full bladder for way too long. The key is to remember how good it feels when it's done..

Good luck on your exams!

Service with a Frown

I am shopping for a couple of big ticket purchases lately and realize that customer service representatives do not take "young" people seriously - let me give you a few examples:

1. I went into a Mazda dealership on a weekday and I was approached by a man in his late 40s. He didn't take me very seriously when I told him that I was looking for a car and I received poor service as a result. He also kept asking for my parents. Every person who walks into a dealership is a potential customer - you should be talking to them like they're worth 20 grand.
2. Looking for a digi cam and they say that the best thing to do is to go to a store and play with it. So I went to Black's and was approached by a sales rep (another guy in his 40s). I told him that I was looking for at picking up photography as a hobby so I need something suitable for a beginner. He told me that the one I was looking at is really good, and that he sold a lot of it. He also told me the specs of the lens (which is written on the lense itself!) but nothing else. Then worst of all, he just walked away! I turned around and couldn't find him!?

Three random guys in a factory who are not in sales.

I think I've unlocked the secret to seeing the real side of customer service reps.

1. They don't care two (expletives) about you if you look like a kid
   
2. Unless you're fanning yourself with a brown stack of Sir Robert Borden's finest (hundred dollar bills), you're not going to get a stare.
3. Therefore, if you want an accurate evaluation of customer service, go shopping dressed in something that makes you look too young for your age or wear something that looks like you're trying to pawn something off to them.
   

Editor's Note: Black's and Mazda were both added to my boycott list.

Fat Family can Sure Use a Recession...

Editor's Note: Thanks Chris!

I wish I was too fat to comment on this article, but I'm not, so here goes..

Mr Chawner said: "What we get barely covers the bills and puts food on the table. It's not our fault we can't work. We deserve more."..

"All that healthy food, like fruit and veg, is too expensive. We're fat because it's in our genes. Our whole family is overweight," she added.

(Read: Family who are 'too fat to work' say £22,000 worth of benefits is not enough...)

Here's a summary of what each family member is receiving:

1. Mr and Mrs Chawner receive £177 per week in income support and incapacity benefit.
   
2. Mrs Chawner is paid an extra £330-a-month disability allowance for epilepsy and asthma, both a result of being overweight.
3. Mr Chawner gets £71 a month after developing Type 2 diabetes because of his size.
   
4. Daughter Samantha receives £84 in Jobseekers' Allowance each fortnight while
   
5. Emma, who is training to be a hairdresser, gets £58 every two weeks under a hardship fund for low-income students.

The clincher is, in my opinion, "We barely cover the bills and put food on the table"? are you (double expletive) kidding me?! It looks like you should stop putting food on the table. They should get taxed for consuming too much food.

"We used to work for the government." - Family of 8

DIY: How to Get into the History Books

I believe that everyone wants to be remembered for something. This is true from the guy who tried to break the world record by stuffing the most straws in his nose to the pot-smoking hippie who won the most gold medals at the Olympics. However, if for some reason, you're average at everything or just too damn lazy to do anything remarkable - then I have a solution for you..

"This kid is going places." - Ma

The key is to just suck at something - but you can't just suck an average amount, no, the secret is to do so poorly that you'll get in the history book as "the other person"...

Here are some examples:

1. Be the French guy Vince Carter dunked over
   
2. Be the guy who got bluffed out of 10 million dollars on the World Series of Poker final table (if you know poker, I'm talking about Sam Farha),
   
3. Be the guy who got beaten by an eight year old in the Guitar Hero Championships.

Either way, you're sure to make a name for yourself. I can almost guarantee it.

Free Hugs!

If you were lucky enough to be in downtown Toronto on February 8, 2009, you could have gotten a free hug. Tanya Neumeyer, her brother, Ian, and a few friends decided that it would be a good idea to carry around big signs and give free hugs to strangers.

"Even if somebody doesn't hug you, people smile and I think that's really the main thing, to brighten somebody's day," he said. "I kind of felt it would be awkward. But it's not awkward at all, it's so natural. I think people just want a connection and it's so easy to do this. People are so scared ... that a lot of people don't hug and that's a shame."(Article of Interest: "Free hug offer startles downtown shoppers" )

What the Star failed to report was that the hugs were originally on sale for $10. She got the the idea from a YouTube video, "Change the World for Ten Bucks":

"Neumeyer, 26, said she got the inspiration from a YouTube video and a group called We Are What We Do, which has a book called Change the World for Ten Bucks..."

Unfortunately, business was slow because people were too busy being productive members of society.

(Picture by Andrew Wallace/Toronto Star)

Signaling at a Right Turn Only Lane

I was coming out of the gas station one time and saw a right turn only sign. There was a median in the middle of the road to prevent cars from turning left, so I turned right and without signaling. My dad asked me why I didn't signal and I replied "Because I don't have to! What else was I going to do? Turn left?"

Now, it's never a smart idea to talk back to your traditional Asian parents, but I did anyway. I still stand by it today because it makes no sense. It's stupid to signal at a right-turn only lane when we only have two signals. No one would signal left unless they were doing something illegal and I didn't need to signal right because I was going to do it anyways. So next time you see a right turn only sign, remember to not signal.



Editor's Note: You have to signal right if there is an option to go straight. Use your own judgment when pulling off this stunt. Side effects include nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach and diarrhea. You may also get a ticket. The author bears not liable for the consequences of your action. Exercise caution when attempting to be a smartass.

Recipes from Kraft Canada

Here's a recipe courtesy of our friends over at Kraft Canada.

RITZ Crackers & Cheddar Cheese Bites

Prep Time: 5 mins
Total Time: 5 mins
Makes: 1

Ingredients
2 RITZ Crackers
2 slices Cracker Barrel Cracker Cuts Old Cheddar Cheese

Directions
Top crackers with cheese.

Link: http://www.kraftcanada.com/en/recipes/ritz-crackers-cheddar-cheese-112452.aspx?e=email

Editor's Note: This site was forwarded to me by baby.

Review: Beyonce - I am Sasha Fierce

I am reviewing I am Sasha Fierce, Beyonce's third solo album since ditching...shoot I forgot their band name already...anyways, no matter. Firstly, you are NOT Sasha Fierce. You are Beyonce Knowles-Z. Finally, you're not just a boy, hell you're not even single. I'm so sick of radio stations that prop up singles by overplaying it.

Summary: This CD sucks. I give it a two out of a possible two (middle) fingers up.

Editor's Note: I will be busy over the next few days and will probably not be posting, but you'll be spammed if there is a new post. Have a great weekend!

The Starbucks Taste Test Challenge

Do you know why I started drinking Starbucks?

Just Kidding.

I'll admit, Starbucks is turning into some sort of culture or brand. It represents a certain economic class or social status. (disregard the above picture of course, the drink = classy, the gut = not) There is also no doubt that Starbucks costs a lot more. What I disagree with is the argument that Tim Hortons' coffee tastes better.

Sure Tim Hortons is Canadian and there is no doubt that it's a "household name". Some might say that it put Asian hockey on the map...



But I challenge you to a quick taste test. Do the following:

1. Go to Tim Hortons, order a medium regular (one milk, one sugar). Absolutely NO double-doubles! this is not a test to see who can mask their coffee the best.

2. Go to Starbucks, order a tall coffee, also regular. (Trust me, a small at Starbucks is at least a medium in Tim's)

3. Take a sip of the Tim's (then spit it out). Then take a sip of the Starbucks coffee (and just savour the goodness).